Several times I have heard that people have said “I do not want a service when I die.” I have talked with several lawyers and other professionals about this. In my opinion a celebration of life or a service is not for the dead person but for the ones that are living. People need to grieve and deal with loss and having a time where friends and family members support each other can be very helpful.
When my mother died I was emphatically told that there would be no service. I took a stand and said we needed to be allowed this time. We had a small grave side gathering of close friends and family and then we went back to the family home and shared some refreshments. Listening to the stories that people shared was helpful for me because I learned some wonderful things about mom that I would never have known if we hadn’t had this time.
The executor has the duty of making the funeral arrangements. Each executor has to decide what to do when they are told “NO SERVICE” and some family members or special friends do want one.